Hope in the Midst of Death and Grief - Additional resources from April 3rd sermon

Hope in the Midst of Death and Grief

Additional resources for the April 3rd sermon

Three realities about death:

"We know by observation that death is inevitable.

We know by intuition that death has meaning.

We know by faith that death is not the end of existence."

- Rene Dionne, Michael Fitzgerald in Catalysts

A basic book about the experience of grief: Understanding your Grief (Ten Essential Touchstones) by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D.

A personal journey through the first year of grief: The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion

TedTalks mentioned in the sermon:

"Am I going to die?" - peace and acceptance as one faces imminent death

 Matthew O’Reilly is a veteran emergency medical technician on Long Island, New York. In this talk, O’Reilly describes what happens next when a gravely hurt patient asks him: “Am I going to die?”

http://www.ted.com/talks/matthew_o_reilly_am_i_dying_the_honest_answer

 

(Note: three questions that the dying want to have answered: 1) Am I forgiven? 2) Will I be remembered? 3) Did my life make a real difference?)

 

 "Let's talk about dying" - it is good to speak of death, how we will die, what plans we have made 

We can’t control if we’ll die, but we can “occupy death,” in the words of Peter Saul, an emergency and Intensive Care doctor. He asks us to think about the end of our lives -- and to question against the modern model of slow, intubated death in hospital. Two big questions can you help start this tough conversation.

http://www.ted.com/talks/peter_saul_let_s_talk_about_dying

 

"Life that doesn't end with death" - the presence of the beloved after death

In Tana Toraja, weddings and births aren’t the social gatherings that knit society together. In this part of Indonesia, big, raucous funerals form the center of social life. Anthropologist Kelli Swazey takes a look at this culture, in which the bodies of dead relatives are cared for even years after they have passed. Not a practice to emulate obviously but an approach to death that sees it in harmony with life...

http://www.ted.com/talks/kelli_swazey_life_that_doesn_t_end_with_death

 

Scriptures to reflect upon as we consider death and grieving

&

Prayer practice: Choose a passage. Ask the Holy Spirit to speak to you in the Scriptures. Exhale as you say a phrase from the Scripture aloud or quietly to yourself. Inhale quietly. Exhale as you say the next phrase. Inhale quietly. Repeat the passage a number of times. Then grow still and let yourself be held by God's grace.

 

Matthew 5:4 - "Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted," said Jesus.

 

John 14:1-6 - "Do not let your hearts be troubled... In my Father's house are many dwelling places... I go to prepare a place for you..." said Jesus.

 

1 Corinthians 15:51-52 - Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed--in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet.  

1 Corinthians 15:55 - Where, O death, is your sting? Where O death, is your victory? 

Ecclesiastes 8:8 - No one has power over the wind to contain it; so no one has power over the day of his death. 

 

Isaiah 57:2 -Those who walk uprightly enter into peace; they find rest as they lie in death. 

John 3:16 - For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

 

John 11:25-26 -  I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die.

Psalm 49:15 - But God will redeem my life from the grave; he will surely take me to himself.   

Psalm 56:13 - For you have delivered me from death and my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before God in the light of life.   

Psalm 73:26 - My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.  

Psalm 116:8-9 - For you, O LORD, have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before the LORD in the land of the living. 

 Romans 8:38-39 -  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.  

 

"How to be there" for others in the midst of death and grief

 

Practical things you can do - an article - "How to help a grieving friend: 11 things to do when you're not sure what else to do" - http://www.huffingtonpost.com/megan-devine/death-and-dying_b_4329830.html

 

 Remember: every grief journey is unique and personal (timing, intensity, reaction, etc...). A blessed friend sits/walks with another friend in the midst of their loss and does not try to fix it. Pray for your friend in the midst of it, that in time, God would heal their wounds and bring them resurrection.

 

Remember: the five stages of grief suggested by Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross outlines the general contours of grief. Don't consider yourself an expert and try to figure out where your friend is and push them to the next level. Be kind, be patient, be loving, and did I mention, be patient...

 

PLEASE don't say: "God never gives you more than you can handle". That is a misquote of a passage of Scripture about temptation, not grief and loss. Consider the approach of Job's friends:

 

"Now when Job's three friends heard of all Job's adversity... they came to sympathize with him and comfort him. When they lifted up their eyes from a distance and did not recognize him, they raised their voices and wept... Then they sat down on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights with no one speaking a word to him, for they saw that his pain was very great."

Job 2:11-13